Have I mentioned to you how much I love having a theme-verb for each year? It has been such a blessing in my life both years I have done it and here’s why: I feel like both years have basically been like me saying, “Hey Heavenly Father, here’s what I want in my life. I wrote it down.” and He replies with “Great! Here’s what you want in your life. I’ll give it to you.”

And while that is really amazing, and has been such a glorious learning/growing experience for me, I feel a little bit like choosing “engage” as my word was akin to praying for patience. (You all know that is unadvisable, right?) Here are some ways engaging has changed me.

The biggest single change to my life this year was the birth of Helen. She is a fabulous miracle and blessing (and frankly, a very good baby), and I am so glad she is here. But her advent into the family has thrown my world upside down. Every new child is an adjustment, but for some reason having number 4 has pushed me past anything I have ever experienced before, as far as my day to day struggle to maintain life and sanity. I feel like this is the venue the Lord has used to teach me about truly engaging. We all know that there are good things without number for us to fill our time with; but as I have struggled so much to do very basic things (dishes, laundry, cleaning up, making meals, keeping food stocked in the house, etc.) I am realizing what things are really critical in the eyes of God. So, very little housework is done regularly, I basically never exercise, we do a fraction of the outings we were doing a year ago, and I’m not even spending all the time I’d like simply enjoying being with my kids. But I AM on track to finish the Book of Mormon before the end of the year. I HAVE somehow managed to increase my temple attendance. We ALWAYS have family scripture study and prayer. We DO fulfill our callings and try to minister to our assigned people. We DO have family home evening each week. And above all, my children DO know that I have a testimony of Jesus Christ as the Son of God, my personal Savior, and the Head of His restored church.

And so, really, what else matters? Right?

But that’s not all I’ve learned about engaging. Because while there are times in life when the fundamentals are all you need, the Lord didn’t intend for us to never enjoy the other good things in the world and exclusively focus on the essential. He also sent us here to glean every good thing we can from this life! So another lesson He taught me this year was the power of my own agency.
There are a few things in this life that none of us can control–for example we can’t really control when people die, or if people get sick or hurt, or what goes on in other people’s lives/society at large. There’s nothing we can do about those things. bummer. But the things that affect our lives the most are all within our own power. So if my life isn’t what I want it to be right now, I have a choice. Maybe I can’t change the fact that I am completely overwhelmed by life with 4 children. But I CAN change the feeling of being trapped at home in my catastrophe of a life by going and doing that one thing I want to do with my children. Is it ideal to look for Christmas decor carting around 4 children? No way. But, it was either that or sitting at home pouting that I don’t get to do what I want to do because I chose to have 4 kids. When Portia was the baby I did a lot of that pouting, and it was very detrimental to every part of my life, not the least of which was my mental health.

I don’t feel like I am quite able to describe this principle as powerfully as I have felt it at times throughout the year. But it truly is an amazing concept: that I get to choose what life I have! And I have also been taught that though there are some very strict rules for followers of Christ, there are approximately infinite choices as far as what you want your life to really look like. I used to sometimes be frustrated with the idea of seeking the Lord’s will for my life–as if He had a plan for me that I didn’t really get a say in, except for to throw the whole thing out the window and be miserable forever by following Satan. But I have realized this past year that instead of life being like a car ride where I am in the passenger seat and God is just driving me wherever He feels like I should go; it is much more like me driving the car with Heavenly Father in the passenger seat. I tell Him where I’d like to go and He tells me “Okay, here’s the best way to get there.” Either that or He tells me “No, going there will not be what you think it will be. Try going this other place. It has what you are looking for.”

The power is mine! The choice is mine! And as He has demonstrated by how much He supports me in my simple little yearly theme-verbs, Heavenly Father wants me to have these other good things! He wants me to have what I want, the things that I choose! That’s why He sent us here! So that we could choose our lives and how we want to follow His Son!  

It’s all just so exciting!

I’m very far from fully taking advantage of my own agency–I still have times where I pout about not getting to do everything I want to do, instead of just going and doing it, if with all the cuties. But I’m so grateful that because I made the goal to engage this year, the Lord has shown me that there is a better way and I have the power to choose it! And not only that; but that He will help me!

It has been a whirlwind of a year! And I’m very much looking forward to a new start in 2019! I’m 98% decided on my theme-verb for next year, and I’m getting excited!

We sort of stumbled upon a spectacularly Christmas-fun-filled week. We only had one festive thing planned, but then we ended up doing a ton of fun, festive things!

On Monday night for Family Party we had a rousing “indoor snowball fight.” We got a box of indoor snowballs as part of Josh’s triumph at the ugly sweater competition last Saturday, and we genuinely had a lot of fun with them! Sorry for the lack of photographic evidence. Also on Monday I took the kids to the library and they had their super fun scene setters up, so of course we had to take pictures!

On Tuesday afternoon Josh called from work to see if I wanted to bring the kids downtown to go on the scavenger hunt at the Grand America Hotel. We did, and it was lots of fun! The best part was definitely the bathroom there. I felt like royalty just walking in there! If you haven’t ever used the bathroom on the main floor of the Grand America, you should use the Christmas window displays as an excuse and then go!
Anyway, after that we decided that instead of Josh going back to work and being responsible for an hour and then coming home, we should go get an early dinner at the mall food court and then go see the lights on Temple Square! The lights were beautiful and it was fun to be spontaneous!

Friday was Carter’s preschool Christmas program. He has been singing Christmas songs and practicing his part for weeks, and He did such a great job! We are so proud of him!

There was the big family progressive party in Utah county that night, but it was already late enough that we decided to go home and have a mini party and get the kids to bed only 1.5 hours late instead of 4 hours late. We made delicious peppermint oreo milkshakes! I took a picture, but felt somewhat silly posting it.

Yesterday, we got it into our heads that we needed to make gingerbread houses. We had been planning on doing it this season–out of real gingerbread, because Fay and Carter don’t remember when we did it that way before–but hadn’t settled on when. But when it got in our heads yesterday it stuck good, so Josh made the gingerbread last night (while I read a zillion pages of the Book of Mormon trying to finish by the end of the year) and we decorated houses and gingerbread men today!

And then tonight after dinner we decided it was a good time to go on our annual Christmas-lights drive. We like to go to the fancy houses in South Jordan and see their extravagant light displays! We saw one house tonight that was totally Grinch themed! Green lights everywhere and 3 Grinch figures in different places. It was Fay and Portia’s favorite.

It was a really fun week! I am so grateful for Christmas and the excitement and joy it brings to life! I am also grateful that it is a time for me to draw closer to the Savior so that in the new year I can hopefully be at least a tiny bit more like Him.

Josh has been dreaming of a vacation for a year. We did some trips during the summer, and they were all super fun! But they just didn’t quite hit the spot for Josh. He was thinking bigger, longer, more relaxing. Also, Josh’s parents have been talking about how it would be fun for them to go on a trip with just our family–to spend some quality time with just our kids, because babies now abound in the Monson family and the newest ones always require the most attention.

Anyway, so Josh one day, around Thanksgiving, just decided we needed to go to Disneyland as soon as possible, and also that it would be the perfect opportunity for his parents to have their trip with us. So he called them up. It did take a while to convince them, though. I think he was on the phone with Mom for about 18 seconds by the time he got a solid affirmative response. 😉 So then plans went into the works and everything was scheduled within the week. But we decided to not tell the kids about it. (This was our plan before we learned about Jordan and Crystal’s family doing the same thing.)

We made the big reveal right when it was time to get in the car. Their reactions were initially somewhat lackluster–I think just because it was all so much to take in; but by the time things actually did sink in, they were much more excited. And despite an semi-anticlimactic reveal, we had a really fun trip!

Our time at Disneyland was spent as you might imagine. We rode the rides, waited in the lines, met the princesses and other characters, ate yummy things, and walked a lot! Carter initially had the concern that it was going to be snowing at Disneyland and that it would, therefore, not be much fun. We told him that it doesn’t snow at Disneyland, but that it would probably feel like springtime weather there, and that helped him feel much better about everything. And indeed, there was no snow; though we did have a lot of rain on day 3 in the parks. It was nice, though, because, at least in the morning, we kind of just walked on to whatever rides we felt like. To give you some perspective the wait time for Indiana Jones was 15 minutes.

Here is some photographic evidence of our fun trip!

Another notable aspect of the trip was that we left some of our luggage on our very first shuttle from the parking lot to the airport in SLC. Despite our great efforts to retrieve it, we had to leave it behind. That suitcase held all the girls’ clothes. So, darn it! We had to buy them all new clothes! 😀 I have dreamed of leaving on vacation and just not packing at all. This was pretty close to living that dream. Though there were also some inconveniences like a missing favorite blankets and no swimming suits to be had because it was December. Still it made things more memorable!

We had a wonderful trip! And we’re so grateful to Mom, Dad, and Jayden for making it so much easier for us to be there!

And we came home to all the Christmas festivities! One highlight each year is our ward Christmas breakfast. They have done ugly sweater contests (I actually think most “ugly” sweaters are just fun and cute) for the past few years; and Josh goes all out for them (surprise)! He even won it this year!

The week before Disneyland was one of my absolute favorite Christmas traditions: the Festival of Trees! We had so much fun looking at amazing trees, wreaths, gingerbread houses, etc. as well as watching the fun song and dance numbers! Here are the kids posing on one of the stages. It’s blurry; but they are cute!

We had Thanksgiving with the Monsons this past week and it was wonderful! It was delightful to spend time with family, make and eat yummy food, and remember all the blessings we have!

And so I just wanted to share some things for which I am most thankful. This whole Thanksgiving season the same two things have consistently hit me as being such enormous blessings:

The first is my Savior, Jesus Christ. I have had the privilege to again come to know Him in my trials this autumn. And though the frustration of this trial is something I would NEVER ask for (ever.) it truly is a blessing to learn anew just how much Jesus Christ loves me and how He is here for me no matter what. I am so thankful that I was raised in a home whose center truly was and is Christ. I am thankful that I continue to grow in my knowledge, understanding, appreciation, and love of Him. Jesus Christ truly is the greatest blessing in my life.

But very close behind is the other blessing I can’t get out of my head: my wonderful family! I am so thankful that I came from a happy home where I was loved. I am thankful that Josh also came from a happy, loving home. And I am so thankful that I am able to give a happy, loving home to my children! None of these families are/have ever professed to be remotely close to perfect. But love and joy can still happen even in the imperfection. And so even though it isn’t and can’t ever be actually perfect, it basically is perfect. And I am so thankful!

Being thankful is fun! I think I’ll try and do it all year round!

Halloween is such a big thing to cover! I’m going to to try and do everything justice without making this post 100 years long; we’ll see how I do. 🙂

Let’s start with Josh’s haunt! He decided he was going to make it different this year and not have a game. This was in the name of going trick-or-treating with the kids and me. But alas, we couldn’t find somebody who wanted to skip Halloween and sit with our house while people went through our garage; so he ended up being there the whole time anyway. Oh well.

Let’s begin with the yard. As you approach the house, you see a skeleton pirate captain manning his ship with a stormy sea behind him. There was also all manner of pirate music playing!

On the other side of the driveway, you see a lonely pirate rowing his rowboat.

Also, lest there were any troublemakers…

Then you enter the pirates’ grotto via the grand entrance. That is, if you dared go in. 🙂

Within the grotto there were many spooky things like skeletons in cages and spiders galore!

But the highlight of everything was definitely the pirate treasure room!

And that was the haunt! It was so detail oriented (like everything Josh does) and just a fun experience! But people have definitely become accustomed to the games, because Josh said a good number of kids just ran through, not taking any time to really look at stuff, and then upon emerging looked at Josh and asked “Is that it?”

But I’ll tell you, I was around the neighborhood that night, and even went to “the” houses, and Josh’s was still something extra special even sans game. We went to one house that the kids had been asking about because it was super decorated; and people were genuinely trying to scare the kids who came by. I find that really dumb, because the kids who are out on Halloween are frequently really little kids, like mine, just trying to be a princess and simultaneously get candy. Why would you want to be the house to traumatize toddlers?! But as we made our way home, we heard fun pirate music, saw all of Josh’s cool props, and the fabulously rugged pirate himself, and everything just felt fun and inviting.

Yes, yes. I know I am significantly biased. But really; Josh always makes the best haunt.

Anyway, here’s some more of Halloween!

Then, the aftermath! The kids had permission to eat all the candy they wanted for about a half hour. So they each got a sucker and spent most of their time on that single sucker. It cracked me up! So, I let them enjoy their suckers while I shamelessly ate all their Kit-Kats!

Also, here is our adorable niece, Lucy, in her old-lady costume! It was too cute not to share!

And now that we have had a marvelous Halloween, we are back to having just a marvelous autumn! Here are some goings on, and most importantly, my mantel display! I am basically THRILLED with how it turned out! It might be my favorite mantel display ever!

The Saturday after Halloween was Super Saturday for the ward. This is what the kids did while I was gone.

And now it is officially the Thanksgiving season! I LOVE Thanksgiving time! It is so fun to have an extra excuse to be grateful for all the wonderful blessings we have! 

We had our traditional “Family Party” of writing down as many blessings as we have sticky notes for. This time, instead of scattering them all over the house, we consolidated them onto the back of the “Summer of Adventure” poster.

In case it wasn’t clear: I am rather enamored with this autumnal season. Today, as I was walking to the church and looking at all the trees in full color along with leaves on the ground, I got so giddy that I started giggling to myself in elation! I love that it is chilly enough for a sweater, but you won’t die without one. I love the smell of fallen leaves! And Halloween is approaching and it is all so marvelous! To me, autumn is a strong manifestation of Heavenly Father’s love for His children. And it is even more fun to live it through the lens of childhood again! Everything is more magical to children, and so having them around makes things more magical for me!

Here are some pictures of the kids a week or so ago just enjoying the leaves in the front yard. We have one tree that dumps all its leaves before any of the others have really started to change. It means we get leaf jumping fun for extra long!

We piled up as many leaves as we could for some real jumping! The parents kept the pile nice and high; and the kids would run from all the the way across the driveway and yard to leap into the pile. This went on for probably 15 minutes.

Fay saw some autumn wreath-making-kits at the craft store and really wanted to get one. I told her the worst words a mother can say, “Not this time.” But she recovered when she had the idea to make her own autumn wreath at home. 
Several weeks ago I had made some simple wreaths out of the vines off our back fence and Fay wanted to help. So she helped with some and made one almost exclusively by herself. She used that wreath and glued leaves and berries she found outside to create her own autumn wreath. It is beautiful, 100% made by Fay, and definitely cooler than the foam ones you could make with the kit! (Though, in all fairness, those did look really cool.)

Also, HALLOWEEN! Things are getting pretty exciting around here! Josh has been cooking up a great themed haunt for this year of which he gave a sample at our ward trunk-or-treat. 

Also, we went to my sister-in-law Chelsea’s work for a Halloween carnival. The kids loved getting to wear their costumes again as well as everything they had there. I was very impressed with everything. There was full on dinner, candy at every turn and so many carnival games that I don’t know if we even got to them all! It was so much fun! Thanks, Chelsea!

Another great and fantastic thing about this season is that some pretty fantastic people were born in the autumn. Yesterday it was my marvelous missionary Mary’s birthday! I love her so much! I’m so proud of all the work she does sharing Christ’s love with people in Romania! Though, I must confess I miss her sharing Christ’s love and Mary’s love with me in Utah. sigh…

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Isn’t she just beautiful?! I just love her all the days!

I think one of the reasons autumn is basically my favorite time of year is all the traditions we have! We haven’t gotten to all of them yet–and who knows? We might not this year–but here are some we HAVE gotten to!

First is General Conference! I remember being a kid and feeling like Conference never ended. ever. But now it goes by so quickly! It was fun to go to the Women’s Session with Mother and the sisters (though we missed Mary significantly); but mostly I feel like I have so much more direction for how to make my life more of what I want it to be. I’m grateful for a living Prophet, and especially the knowledge I have of the Savior, Jesus Christ. I know He lives and that He loves me and is mindful of me and my family. He wants even little old us to have every good thing in this life! What a glorious message!

Another autumn tradition I love, and the kids love as well, is doing toilet paper mummies for Family Party (aka: FHE). This year, after we had all been mummified (except Carter who wasn’t feeling up to being wrapped up), we had a toilet paper fight! It was so fun I wouldn’t be surprised if it became part of the tradition!

This is how Helen enjoyed the festivities.

Another tradition that was sort of thrust upon us, but we love, is taking pictures at the library! They put up photo backdrops every year to go along with their Halloween movie series, and we were the very first people to take pictures this year! We are so famous!

And, of course, we have to go see all the witches!

Now for some information about Josh. Josh was riding his scooter (a self propelled Razor scooter) to work two Mondays ago when he crashed onto the cement chin first. He came home saying that his jaw really hurt and with blood dripping from his chin. We took him to instacare where he received 5 stitches in his chin. They also told him that his jaw was swollen, but didn’t appear to be dislocated or broken. Also that a concussion was very unlikely. (Phew!)

So we carried on with life hoping the jaw would feel better soon. By Wednesday the jaw wasn’t feeling any better, so we decided we needed another opinion. Josh went to the dentist on Thursday followed by an oral surgeon. He got a 3D model of his head taken in X-rays which showed very clearly that he had a partial fracture in his jaw. He was sent home with strict instructions to not chew and come back in a week to see if the fracture had spread. He went back this past Thursday and, to our great joy, found that it had NOT! However, we also found out he has a fractured rib.

We think everything is on its way to healing; but it will take time. So, for now, we are eating a lot of soup and a lot of smoothies, and trying to get Josh to stop helping move pianos downstairs. I’m just grateful he doesn’t have to get his mouth wired closed!

Anyway, here are a few more pictures not advertised by the title of this post.

Also Helen turned 7 months this past week! I chose this picture of her because it is SO CUTE and also because it is probably the only picture you will ever see with Helen looking pouty. She is the happiest, most take-everything-in-stride baby ever! Oh how we love her!

I am SO excited for autumn! I didn’t have an autumn kick-off party this year (in part because I am just trying to keep us all alive most days), but I think I’m going to have to do something at some point this season! It’s just too delicious a season to not celebrate!

This evening we went to Josh’s parents’ house for dinner and the presentation of Grandma’s pumpkins! She planted 2 pumpkin plants in the spring hoping to get enough pumpkins for each of her 7 grandchildren to have one. Well, those plants ultimately yielded 25 big, beautiful pumpkins! 

Some other goings on include: Halloween preparation for Josh. No spoilers. But trust me: it’s going to be good! 
Also, I felt like a Halloween photoshoot with the kids; so I got them some cute stuff to wear and we attacked a wall with balloons and kind of just let them play in front of the camera. Please be advised that these pictures are ANYTHING but pinterest-perfect. But I know that if I didn’t post anything until it was perfect I would never post anything. So enjoy some fun Halloweeny imperfection!

Something we have been doing in the past few weeks is trying to do one-on-ones with the kids each week. We cycle through the three big kids and switch off with Josh and I so we each get to spend time with each of the kids. The kids love it and so do we!  This past week was my turn to go out with Portia. She chose to get ice-cream from “the ice-cream restaurant” and get a spider balloon from the party store. 

Here are some other pictures from everyday life.

If you haven’t heard about Helen’s hips, here is some information. When Helen was born breech all the doctors told us that her hips would need to be closely monitored for hip dysplasia. She had an ultrasound at 6 weeks old that showed that her hips were still slightly immature (whatever that means). Because of the results of that ultrasound she had another at 12 weeks that showed all was well. But apparently you can’t see everything on an ultrasound and so–from the beginning–an Xray was planned for when she was 6 months old. We got that Xray a week and a half ago.

I went to the appointment in full confidence that all would be fine. After all, the second ultrasound came back great. So I was a little alarmed when the nurse from our pediatrician’s office called to tell me that Helen did, indeed, have hip dysplasia and that I would need to get in touch with the orthopedic specialists at Primary Children’s. I made an appointment, but had to wait for five days for it. I, naturally, spent those days worrying.

I went to the International Institute for Hip Dysplasia website and looked at potential treatment options. I read there that between the ages of 6 and 18 months the most successful treatment is surgery followed by a horrible thing called a spica cast. I watched a video of how to change your baby’s diaper while she is in the spica cast and I nearly cried thinking about my sweet Helen having to wear such a thing. 

Finally the day of the appointment arrived and I had a whole slew of questions I was prepared to ask, particularly about the long-term repercussions of performing surgery on a 6 month old baby. But as the doctor looked at Helen’s Xrays (and I finally got to see them as well!) and the severity of her dysplasia, he seemed to find it quite manageable. And before I even had a chance to pull out my slew of questions he said “We’re not going to call the surgeons if we don’t have to. I don’t want you to even meet those guys.” And instead of surgery, casts, and a million trips to Primary Children’s, I went home with just a brace and an appointment for 6 months from now.

She has to wear the brace for the next six months, but it is only at night! I don’t have to buy special clothes that fit over casts or even the brace! I don’t have to watch her try to figure out mobility through the brace! I just have to reach out a little farther when I switch sides feeding her in the night! 

We prayed that she could be healed with as little intervention as possible, and I couldn’t be more grateful for the way Heavenly Father answered our prayers! 

That being said, we do know that this treatment isn’t necessarily the end of her dysplasia. We will only know what is to come after we get her looked at again in six months. But for now, we are just enjoying this blessing!

In case you weren’t convinced of our adventuring this summer; here is a nice long video documenting it. Josh made it, and it is great! 

Mostly it was made and is being posted for family history purposes; so don’t feel like you need to watch the whole thing.

Also, here is a story from today. I am really sad I missed it because it sounds so great! This all went down as I was out feeding Helen during Sacrament Meeting. The congregation had just finished the rest hymn when Portia immediately sang out, loudly enough for all to hear, “Happy Birthday to you!” Josh said that after it happened, a chuckle rose up from the whole congregation! We love Portia!

Also, a good story for the family record would be the story of last night. Josh and I got the cute neighborhood girls to come over and watch our kids so we could go to a concert. The concert went later than we usually stay out when the girls are watching the kids, so we decided we would see how they did doing bedtime with the kids. We gave them a list of what we usually do and reminded the kids that they needed to be super good for the girls’ first time doing bedtime. We left and enjoyed our date (with Helen in tow, so mostly a date) quite tranquilly, fully believing that all would be well and the children would be fast asleep when we returned.

What we actually came home to was a totally quiet and empty house, as far as we could tell. But then as we looked around for the baby-sitters we heard, crying out from the basement, “Help us! Let us out!”

Back story: several months ago our door-knob to the basement door broke such that the side of the door that faces the stairs won’t open by simply turning the handle. You must grab hold of the lock part and turn that the opposite way as you would to lock the door and then it opens no problem. The girls did not know that. And though Fay and Carter each have some idea of how to do it, apparently neither of them could explain it to the babysitters.

So those poor girls had been stuck in our basement with the phone upstairs, so they couldn’t call for help, for over an hour when we got home, along with three overtired and rather frantic children. And apparently all this after they had to coax Portia out of the garage, where she had been screaming for some time for missing Mommy and Daddy, to even start bedtime, and dealt with her talking and screaming all through the bedtime routine. They probably don’t feel like coming back any time soon… 🙁

Also, we decided we had better finally bite the bullet and replace the doorknob.

Oh well, it clearly made a good story.

I’m not sure what I should write about this week, so I’ll skip the monologue for the most part and just share a little bit about the pictures.

They both love it so much! But Portia wins the “excited face” award. And Helen wins the “giant cheeks” award. Also the award for having teeth!